Where did the time go?! I cannot believe it has been one year since my daughter was born. I'm going to do her monthly update like in the past sometime in the next week or so, but today I just want to reflect on her first year of life.
At this time (1.16 pm) last year, I was laying in a hospital bed, with an oxygen mask, having the most powerful contractions my doctor had ever seen. The night before he had called and said I would be induced the next morning. I was 42.5 weeks pregnant. I was sick of being pregnant, he was sick of me being pregnant, my kidneys were tired of being pregnant. The only one who was content with my still being pregnant was my little diva, Charlotte. She was totally fine with just hanging out in there til she was 16 or so.
My mom drove down the night before my induction. She got there about dinner time, and she, Joe, and I went out for Mexican for dinner. I was totally calm. I knew I was checking into the hospital that night, but it was still no big deal to me. I knew I was having a baby. That I was going to become a mom sometime in the next 24 hours. I was ready. Everybody kept asking me if I was nervous, or if I was ready, or a whole mess of other questions. The truth was, I wasn't nervous or scared. I never had that "OMG I'm having a freaking baby!" moment. I was ready from the start.
When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said "A mommy". My whole life, I've always known that that was what I was destined to be, to do. My professors in college didn't always like or appreciate my answers, and neither did some of my classmates, but it was ok. I knew what I wanted for myself. Whatever degree I obtained, or career I started, would never be my ultimate life goal. Some moms need to work to feel satisfied with their lives. That's totally fine, but I'm not one of them. I'm fortunate that my husband is willing and able to be the sole provider for our family so I can be home with our daughter. I will be eternally grateful for that.
The fear that everyone kept asking me about came after she was born. And it was a direct result of having to have an emergency c-section. She got stuck at 8 1/2 cm. I never even got to try to push. My recovery was awful. I literally could not move for days, and could not lift anything, couldn't take care of my baby for weeks. Had it not been Holiday Block Leave when she was born, I don't know what I would have done. I will never understand women who have elective c-sections. Not judging, I just don't understand.
I love having a daughter. When people asked what we wanted, I never hesitated to say "a girl". I know everyone says "I don't care as long as they're healthy"and that's all well and good, but I cared. Of course I wanted to have a healthy baby, but I wanted a girl. I wanted to be a girl mom. Had she been a boy? I would love her just as fiercely and still be just as happy. But I will always be honest on this blog, and so I cared. We went for our gender reveal appointment (which bugs me btw. it's a sex reveal, not gender. but that's another post for another day) and I get up on the table, Heather and Joe were there, obviously. The tech waved the little wand over my belly, she had to poke and dig around to get Charlotte in the right position, but when she did and she said "It's a girl!" and screamed "yes!" and my hands shot up over my head. I was thrilled!
She's always been a good baby. She has her days when she's in a foul mood, and just acting pissy for no reason, but overall she is amazing. People tell me all the time what a good baby she is. There's no better compliment to a mom than when a total stranger comes up to you and says how well behaved your child is. I hope she stays my good natured, polite little girl.
Being Charlotte's mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I truly believe that she chose us. We're so blessed, and in love with her. Coming up is the birthday party, and birthday recap :)
|Meeting for the first time.|