Thursday, April 11, 2013

Apparently I'm "trashy"

So the other day my sister informed me that a mutual "friend" -and I use the term loosely, of ours thought I was "trashy" for having a baby and not being married. Here's the thing: I WAS married when I was pregnant with and gave birth to Charlotte.

Being in the south, unwed mothers typically get labeled as trashy, or slutty, or any other derogatory term you can think of . It's not right or fair, but it's just the way it is down here.

Back to the point! So this "friend" actually had the nerve to tell my sister, when I was pregnant, that it was trashy that I was pregnant and not married. Except I was married.

My husband and I got engaged in January '11, got orders February '11, decided we'd get married before we PCS'd in April '11, found out we were pregnant mid April '11, and then went from there. We were engaged before I was pregnant, and got married b/c we had planned to, not b/c he knocked me up. There wouldn't be anything wrong if we had gotten married b/c I was pregnant, but that just wasn't the case with us. Our original wedding date was May 12, 2012, so we decided we'd still have our grand wedding on the original date, but still celebrate our court house wedding too.

Our court house wedding wasn't highly advertised b/c we didn't want to take away from the specialness of our wedding. We left our status on FB as "engaged" and I didn't change my last name until after the wedding. The important people in our lives knew, but everybody else just got to assume one or the other, an that was fine by us. We didn't hide the fact we were married, but we didn't make a banner and scream it from the rafters. I mean really, who cares? We didn't think it was that important or relevant.

This "friend" recently announced her own pregnancy, on FB, with 3 of her girlfriends. Not her fiancée, the father of her baby. Oh! And wait! She's not married! Here's the thing, I don't give two craps whether or not someone is married when they have a baby. It doesn't affect that person's ability to be a good parent, and it doesn't mean that the baby will somehow be loved any less. What I do have a problem with is somebody, who isn't exactly the best example of prim and proper, judging me or someone else for something that is none of their damn business. And then they turn around an do the exact same thing they were judging me for.

To the girl who said I was trashy and basically called my baby a bastard: I hope you don't have to deal with the trash talking and backstabbing that you so effortlessly did to me. I also hope you learn to quit judging others. Before you start judging and calling me out on my sins, make sure you're up for sainthood first.

And that's all I got. Sorry for the jumping around in thoughts. Blogging while angry is tricky ;)
 photo chickapeasiggy_zpsaf5931e6.png

1 comment:

  1. Girl, judge-y people kill me. Especially when they're all high horse judgmental. But I love when WHAM! karma knocks them off their high horse flat on their ass in the mud.

    And seriously, don't you have something better to do than mind MY own business? Holy rollers pump the breaks already.