Another baby? Maybe?

We're about to get deep y'all, so brace yourselves. The topic of baby #2 has come up a lot lately between Me and Joe. He's ready. I'm not sure where I am. I've always pictured myself with 3 to 5 kids. I the oldest of 5 for crying out loud! I got this raising kids thing on lock! And then my brain goes "woah sister! Slow your roll!" And so I start to think. Can I love another child? Will I be able to give another child the same attention I'm able to give Charlotte? What if its a boy?! What would I do with a boy?! Would Charlotte feel cheated somehow? Is she being cheated some way? And it goes on and on and on.

I'm really struggling with this. Charlotte NEEDS a sibling. My life has been blessed with 4 of them and I can't imagine not having any one of them. She needs to know the love of a brother or sister. Have a best friend for life. Have someone when her Dada and I are gone. And when I picture out futures, there's other children there. But the reality of having another child? I'm having real anxiety over this. Like legitimate heart palpitations, anxiety.

The pressure is on too. I don't want any of our kids to be more than max, 3 years apart. Anything longer is just too long in my opinion, and therefore not going to happen. This means I have until December to decide. I just don't know.

One of my best friends, Erin, has 3 kids and she and I have talked about this. N and E are like 14 months apart. They were planned this way. I couldn't imagine having a new born right now! Seriously?! I might die. But they made it happen. C and Charlotte are a month apart so Erin and I got close while pregnant and then after the girls were born. I'm blessed to have her as a friend b/c she understands where I'm coming from. Her advice was "It's the exact same love, just multiplied by 2 or 3 or however many you have. You don't lose love for one to transfer to the other. Your heart just makes room." She's a wise woman right? But I still don't know. I know I have time, but I'm still confused. My mind changes every 5 minutes.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Maybe some advice? Words of wisdom? How did you decide to have another? Or perhaps you have a oneling? How did you come to the decision that one was enough?